Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
