he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize