Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
two words: eviction party
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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