She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
