i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
