Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
