Joe is yelling at the trees again.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Randomize
