Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
