I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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