I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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