"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
