We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
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Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
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They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.