I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.