So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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