Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
