I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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