Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
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