I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
smell my finger.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
