Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
