she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
