how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
