we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
