girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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