Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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