you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
