There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Randomize
