Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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