i think my tv is drunk
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
