my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
There's a naked man in my car right now.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm too high and old for this...
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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