How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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