okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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