if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
