Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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