I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
