come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
