Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
handjob tips. give me some.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
