nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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