you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
