Already got asked if we're dating
Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
