My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
