At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Still dying that you shit outside
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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