Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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