apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
