Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
our cab driver is having phone sex.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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