we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
