Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You're a waste of cheezeits
I just had sex on a roof
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
