I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
