youre lurking in front of me
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
