i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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