He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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