I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
