Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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