I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
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