but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
