you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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