i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize