She said her name was "party"
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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