i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
