I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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