He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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