Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
