D3 body, D1 cock
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
