you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
