i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Randomize
