i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I look better un-naked...
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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