The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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