Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
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One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
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I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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