forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I want to have your abortion
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
