Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
