you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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